Scorched Earth Policy
by Lint
Summary: Post Apocalyptic Sunnydale. Read.
1. Begin

Dirt and ash fly past his head and cover his goggles with grime. He sighs and feels his breath heat the skin of his mouth. Coughing, he adjusts the strap of his gas mask. Adjusting his collar as he walks, he looks around at the skeletons of tree's surrounding the path. The ground feels like sand, and his boots leave deep imprints behind. He has a flashback to a picture he'd once seen. Astronauts on the moon. It's what his footprints remind him of. He looks to the moon, floating there, peaceful and serene in the cold depths of space. He looked at his surroundings once more.   
  
It could easily be the moon.   
  
He's Neil Armstrong. Walking along, exploring new territory. Though, technically the territory wasn't new. He's lived here all his life. He's sure there was a saying. Something about the neighborhood not being the same. He can't remember. He doesn't think it was that important anyway. He kicks a few rocks and hears them trickle down the edge of the crater. He stops, crouches, and picks up a few more pebbles to toss over into the pitch-black void.   
  
The crater has a circumference of five miles and is fifteen hundred feet deep. The other survivors affectionately call it the "dust bowl." He stares down into the darkness. He doesn't think affection should have anything to do with such a reminder of death and destruction. Standing up he coughs and curses his mask. He hates wearing it. He hates how if he doesn't wear it he'll surely get the black lung disease that claimed many other survivors.   
  
Turning, he walks slowly away leaving the pit for another night. His boots sink into the ash. His mask makes his face itch. The skeleton trees wave to him as he strolls by. He quells the urge to wave back. His stomach rumbles slightly. He hopes dinner will be ready when he reaches the camp, but he knows that he is the one that does the cooking. He wants to wish that this all is just some strange horrible nightmare, he wants to believe that it is all a figment of some deranged part of his imagination. He's had too many actual nightmares to counteract his wishes. He can't put his heart into it.   
  
The crater is a constant reminder.   
  
The town of Sunnydale, California no longer exists.   
  
He let's his mind wander. Memories of happy days past almost make him smile.   
  
The camp is the old army base. It being a few miles away from town, all of the buildings had survived the destruction. Mainly they were used for housing. One or two buildings were used for storage of what little items they actually had to store. He still had knowledge of his one night as soldier boy and he'd unknowingly been designated as the leader. He didn't ask for the responsibility, but he didn't turn it down either.   
  
He tilts his head to the sky and he walks, closing his eyes and wishing for what could never be again. It was fickle hope that haunted him. He was too weak to fight it. Something rustles in the bushes next to him and he stops immediately. His breathing becomes shallow, his body as still as the dead trees surrounding him. He hears it again. Quietly he reaches for the Army issued combat knife strapped to his belt, slowly removing the blade with silent precision. The movement seems closer to him, he remains still. Minutes pass. A rabbit leaps nimbly from the bush and sits a few feet in front of him. He grips the knife a little tighter. Long ago the idea of killing a cute little bunny rabbit would have mortified him. Now all he can think of is dinner for him and Celia. He watches the rabbit carefully, anticipating the slightest movement and the right moment to attack. The creature's nose is twitching and he pushes the thought of Bugs Bunny from his mind. Another minute passes.   
  
The rabbit does not move.   
  
Faster than the rabbit he leaps at the furry little creature successfully grabbing it's hind legs. It squirms in his grip. He mentally apologizes to it. He closes his eyes as he brings the knife down. It stops squirming.   
  
Twenty minutes later he arrives at the gates to the base. The two men standing guard nod at him as he approaches and lift their hands to their heads in a salute. One acknowledges the dead animal in his arms but says nothing. Passing through the gates he heads toward building E. Celia should be there, if not, he'll cook and wait for her to come. He passes a few more survivors as he walks and they all nod their heads in respect at him. He nods back and continues on his way. Children run about, squealing and laughing and playing. He almost smiles at the sight of it.   
  
Once he reaches building E, he takes off his mask and goggles. He hangs them on the nail next to the door, and squints his eyes in the darkness of the room. He takes of his jacket and puts it on the peg. Celia comes running out of a dark corner and wraps her arms around his leg. He smiles and pets her fine red hair.   
  
"Xander!" She squeals happily, her green eyes shining. "What'd you bring me?"  
  
He lifts his arm to show her the rabbit. His Adam's apple bobs up and down in silent laughter when she scrunches her nose at it.   
  
"Ew," she says. "It's stinky."  
  
He shrugs his shoulders and gently removes the little girl from his legs and walks toward the small propane stove in the middle of the large room. A small benefit of being the designated leader was that he got the whole building to himself. At first he'd rejected the idea. There was plenty of room for others to share, but they'd insisted. Told him that he deserved it. He flicks the switch on the side of the stove and lets the small pot full of water boil. He goes to his sleeping mat and proceeds to skin the remains of the rabbit. Celia skips over to him and plops her little body next to him.   
  
"See anything interesting?" She asked.   
  
He shakes his head, bringing the rabbit to her attention once more. Indicating that it was this most of what he'd seen.   
  
"Nothing fun ever happens," she says quietly.   
  
He sighs and puts an arm across her shoulders. His kisses the top of her head lightly. She beams up at him.   
  
"Mikey Myers said I was pretty today," she stated proudly. "You know the boy from building G? His parents are James and Sarah."  
  
He nods his head, and looks at her skeptically, one eyebrow raised.   
  
"Oh, he's just a silly boy," she said gruffly. "I don't care what he thinks."  
  
Both his eyebrows shoot up and she breaks from him to throws her hands on her hips.  
  
"I don't!" She shouts indignantly.   
  
He shrugs and smiles at her.   
  
"I don't!" She shouts again.   
  
He goes back to skinning the rabbit, and she gets up from the mat and skips about in the shadows of the room, laughing to herself like any good hearted eight-year-old. He shakes his head happily at her and stands to drop the rabbit into the boiling water. Lying back onto his mat, he folds his arms behind his head and stares dreamily at the ceiling. Celia is still skipping around, but she's all the way at the end of the room and her can barely hear her. He enjoys the little quiet he can get.   
  
After they'd eaten, Celia got up to go to the bathroom and he moved over to her dresser to set out her sleepwear. He smiled to himself as he pulled out the large pink shirt with the unicorn on it. It had belonged to Willow long ago. He didn't know he'd had it in the trunk he'd brought to the base. He's glad he did, otherwise she might be sleeping in one of his god-awful mushroom button-ups.   
  
She comes out of the bathroom and slowly moves toward him, seeing the shirt draped on her sleeping mat.   
  
"Aww," she whines. "I don't want to go to sleep yet!"  
  
He waves a finger at her gently, symbolizing no room for argument. She pouts her lower lip and blows the bangs from her forehead.   
  
"Fine," she caves. "But will you read me a bedtime story?"  
  
His eyebrows furrow at her request.  
  
"Jeez," she says quietly. "I was only kidding."   
  
He glares at her, telling her that it wasn't funny. She sighs and moves slowly toward him, arms wrapping around his neck in a tentative hug.   
  
"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I didn't mean it."  
  
He gently hugs her back, giving her forgiveness.   
  
"What if I read to you?" She suggests.   
  
He nods, and she scampers over to her dresser to pull out her battered copy of a collected book of fairy tales. She runs back over to him and plops down in his lap.   
  
"Okay," she says flipping through a few pages. "Tonight I think it'll be... Sleeping Beauty. Is that all right?"   
  
He nods, and she begins to read. 


	2. Visitor

Celia, who's already running and prancing around, wakes him up. He yawns and stretches, reaching for his boots as he sits up. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes he looks at Celia who's at the far end of the room jumping onto the wall over and over. A small grin graces his lips and he pulls on his boots and ties them before standing. Celia has seen him stand up and comes running at full speed to him. She leaps onto his shoulder, causing him to loose his footing a little. He staggers a step, grasping onto Celia's arm so she doesn't fall.   
  
"Morning sleepyhead," she says with a smile. "Dream of anything cool?"  
  
He smiles slightly at her but shakes his head to her question. He rarely dreamed of anything lately.   
  
"You going back to the hole today?" She asked hopping to the floor.   
He nods, and grins again as she pouts.   
  
"You always go there," she says.   
  
He sighs and grabs the little chalkboard he always wrote on.   
  
'I have to,' he writes.   
  
"Why?"  
  
'To check for Vampires.'  
  
"But there haven't been any in months," she says. "And it's daytime."  
  
'That's why I have to keep checking,' he scribbles, showing it to her for a few seconds before erasing again. 'They're probably up to something. Day or not I know they have a nest somewhere.'  
  
"Fine," she says folding her arms. "Go and get depressed like you always do."  
  
He rolls his eyes at her and kisses the top of her head. He writes one last message on the chalkboard before heading to the door. It says, 'Be good.'  
  
Outside of the building he squints his eyes against the few rays of sun that actually managed to break through the clouds. Adjusting the collar of his shirt, his fingernails brush the scar. He involuntarily shudders at the contact and quickly removes his hand. People have already taken to their daily chores around the base. A group of young boys are sitting next to one of the few trees left whittling stakes and makeshift crossbow darts. Some of the women are taking care of the animals, and others are making clothes with left over fabric from anything else. Most of the men are on guard duty somewhere, and a few women are on sniper points on the various roofs. He sees more children at play and makes a note to himself to keep an eye on little Mikey Myers.   
  
As usual everyone he passes nods in respect or salutes. He politely nods in return. Chelsea Winters smiles shyly at him when he passes. She makes a move to approach him but declines on the idea awkwardly stepping back to her spot leaning against building A. He smiles to himself. She was a sweet girl, and had a crush on him for as long as he can remember. Though, she never did anything about it.   
  
Once at the gates the two guards saluted as he went to pass by them when one called after him.   
  
"Sir," he said. "Scouts have reported and unknown walking around the crater."  
  
He nods and makes the letter V with his fingers.  
  
"No sir, they don't think it's a vampire. It's too far past dawn and they say the unknown was not wearing enough fatigues to block against sunlight."  
  
Xander nods and pats the man on his shoulder. He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and scribbles a small note.   
  
'Thank you Evans,' it says. 'I'll take care of it.'  
  
"Sir," Evans responds, saluting again.   
  
He pulls up his mask and adjusts his goggles as he walks. Looking up at the sky it was turning out to be a fairly decent day. Something he hadn't seen in quite awhile. His boots crunch against some pebbles as he walks and he looks at all the rustlings in the bush. The animals all are running away from him. His throat vibrates in quiet laughter. He reaches the crater fifteen minutes later and starts walking his usual perimeter around it. Circling around the crater usually takes one and a half to two hours if he runs. Three hours if he walks. He felt like walking today and starts off the to right. He keeps a sharp eye out for the unknown he was warned about. He wondered who it could have been. It was rare that anyone would come here with a purpose, and even rarer for someone to just happen to stumble upon it. Most of the outside world knew to stay away from Sunnydale. Anyone who came was looking for trouble.   
  
Hours later he finished his second rotation around the crater. The only strange thing he'd seen was a bird flying overhead. It's been months since he's seen one. You know it's bad when even the birds stay away. He sits on a collapsed tree trunk and cracks his neck. Staring blankly in the distance he thinks it's time to head back to base and cook dinner for him and Celia.   
  
He jumps to his feet when he hears footsteps in the distance. He shoots a quick look to the sky; it's still too soon for any vamps to come out. He dives behind the tree and waits patiently for the unknown to pass him. His breathing is shallow, and his arms and legs are primed to attack, need it be necessary. The footsteps approach him at a casual pace, not to slow, not to fast. Someone who was is no hurry. The crunching becomes louder as it comes closer. From his crouched position his can see the unknown's boots from the gap between the tree trunk and the ground. He is shocked when it speaks.   
  
"I know you're there," the voice says. "Unless you intend on sucking my blood I suggest you come out now."  
  
He hesitates a moment, not sure if it's some demon bluff. The boots come closer and his fists tighten.   
  
"Ollie, ollie, oxen free," the voice calls as it moves toward him.   
  
The boots are right next to his eyes now and he looks up to see the unknown smiling down at him.   
  
"I thought only kids played the hiding game," it said.   
  
Without a sound he sends a swift uppercut to the unknowns jaw, sending it staggering back. He leaps over the tree legs poised in a thrust kick, which connects to the person's side knocking it to the ground. The unknown leaps to it's feet and he stops dead. She is in a fighting stance waiting for his next move but it doesn't come. Instead he slowly removes his goggles and gas mask. Her eyes grow wide with surprise when the recognition comes over her.   
  
Cold.  
  
That's the only thing she can think at the moment. Those once warm brown orbs of his were now ice cold. She stares into them a few seconds before turning away. He moves closer to her and she's surprised when he says nothing. She takes a few steps away before she feels his hands clamp onto her shoulder. It's harder than expected. She turns her head toward him but doesn't look into his eyes. She doesn't want to feel that small chill she felt creep up her spine by looking into them.   
  
"How've you been Xander?" She asks.   
  
He still doesn't say anything to her as he walks off a few feet, indicating with his index finger that she should follow. At this point she's not sure what to do or say around him. Avoiding a few of the bigger rocks on the ground she follows. His silence is something that's beginning to make her feel uncomfortable in his presence. A memory of the same man before her, laughing and smiling and having a hard time shutting up enters her mind. She catches up to him and looks into those distant eyes once again and has a hard time believing that this is the same man she once knew.   
  
His hand clamping on her wrist snaps her out of the memory. He pulls her along and only lets go once they reach the trail that leads back to the base. They walk and say nothing. She's starting to get really uncomfortable with the silent treatment and shoots down the urge to scream at him to say something to her. Instead she just walks along side him, picking at the frayed ends of her jacket. He suddenly stops dead and she's a few feet ahead of him before she realizes he's stopped.   
  
"Warn a girl will you?" She grumbles.   
  
His index finger shoots to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet. She watches as he tilts his head slightly, struggling to hear something. She doesn't know what he's listening for, but a moment later she hears it. A subtle scuffling in the brush next to the trail. He turns slowly away from her, hand reaching for his knife. The scuffling from the brush stops and she watches as his body becomes completely still, like stone. She doesn't know how long they stand there before he gives up on whatever it was. He walks ahead of her and grabs her wrist again without looking back. She sighs loudly and grudgingly goes along.   
  
They arrive at the base a few minutes before sunset and she stares at him strangely when the men guarding the gate salute him. He pointed at her and wrote something to them on a little piece of paper. She didn't fight them off when they went to search her, checking for anything dangerous to them.   
  
"Is this the old Army base?" She asks when they pass through the gate.   
  
He nods, and she smiles slightly, noting the first reaction she's gotten out of him. She looks on curiously as the other people occupying the base stopped whatever they were doing to salute him or nod their heads in respect. He stops her when the reach a giant tan building with a letter E painted on the side. The dust and wind had caused the paint to fade over the years. He opens the door and gestures for her to enter. Once inside she cranes her neck to the thirty-foot ceiling. She whistles softly.   
  
"Nice set up you have here Xand."  
  
She watches him put his mask and goggles on nails next to the door. She's about to ask him what all this was about when something came squealing out of a darkened corner of the room. She immediately jumps into a fighting stance.  
  
"Xander!" Celia exclaimed, jumping into his arms as was her daily ritual. "Didja bring me anything?"  
  
He shook his head and she sighed. Buffy looked on questioningly at the little girl so lost in Xander's protective hold that she hadn't noticed someone else was here. Xander's eyes turned to Buffy and Celia's followed.  
  
"Who's that?" She asked.   
  
"I'm Buffy," the slayer replied when Xander didn't.  
  
"Buffy?" She questions, looking back to Xander.  
  
He nods.   
  
"Thee Buffy?"  
  
He nods again.  
  
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer?"  
  
Another nod.   
"Wow," Celia breathed looking back to Buffy. "I thought you were just a fairy tale."  
  
Buffy laughing softly at the little girls awe. "I'm real as far as I can tell," she said. "What have you been telling her Xander?"  
  
He merely shrugs as Celia lets him go and runs at Buffy grabbing her hand.   
  
"My name is Celia," she says politely. Then squeals, "We have so much to talk about! Xander will make dinner while we chat."  
  
Buffy looked to Xander who simply nods his permission.   
  
"Come on!" Celia shouts, tugging her toward a corner of the room. Buffy laughs and let's herself be dragged.   
  
"Xander's told me so much about you," she says excitedly, pulling Buffy toward some cushions set on the floor.   
  
"He doesn't say mu..."  
  
"So you're the slayer?" Celia interrupts plopping down on one of the cushions. "That's so cool! How many vampires have you killed?"  
  
"Well I don't really keep..."  
  
"I bet it's a lot."  
  
"I..."  
  
"I bet it's even more than Xander!"  
  
"Has Xander killed a lot of Vamps?" Buffy asks.   
  
"Oh yeah," Celia replies with a hint of pride. "Over a hundred I think."  
  
Buffy smiles when the girl begins to count her fingers.   
  
"I don't know exactly," Celia sighs. "I kind of lost count."  
  
"I think it's sweet that you try," Buffy replies.   
  
Celia beams at her, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. The two sat there a moment using the silence between them to grow used to each other presence.   
  
"He used to talk about you all the time," Celia said. "He told us that if you ever came back we'd have you to thank for everything you taught him."  
  
"He said that?" Buffy asked.   
  
Celia nods, smiling brightly. "He used to tell me bedtime stories of all your adventures in High School. I used to love it when he did that," she sighs wistfully.   
  
"He doesn't tell you stories anymore?"  
  
"He can't," Celia replies shaking her head.   
  
"Why?"  
  
She looks up to Buffy, green eyes searching hers. "You don't know do you?" Celia says more to herself than to Buffy. "'Course you don't. He wouldn't just show you..."  
  
"Know what?" Buffy inquires.  
  
"He can't talk," Celia states matter-of-factly. "Hasn't been able to for a whole year."  
  
Buffy's mouth hangs open as the realization dawns on her. The silent treatment Xander had been giving her wasn't out of any kind of anger he would have had toward her for leaving. She feels so stupid. She looks over to Xander at the other end of the room, tinkering with the propane stove.   
  
"How?" She asks, aware that her voice is shaking a little.  
  
"McRae," Celia replies with as much venom as an eight-year-old girl could muster.   
  
"McRae," Buffy whispers to herself, the name sounding vaguely familiar. "The fire chief?"  
  
"Yeah," Celia says quietly. "He wanted to be the leader here. Because of him being the fire chief and all I think he thought he'd be better at it than Xander. But he didn't know anything about Vampires or Demons or other slimy gross things and stuff. Xander did, and when they would attack, Xander taught us all how to fight and kill them. McRae sat on his old wrinkly butt and did nothing. He still wanted to be leader so he..."  
  
"It's okay," Buffy said placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You can tell me."  
  
"One day he ambushed Xander. It was right after some big battle and we were all tired and he just jumped him. He took his knife and he..."  
  
Tears began to flow down Celia's cheeks and Buffy pulled her into a hug, letting the little girl gently sob on her shoulder.   
  
"He slit his throat," Celia whispered. "So no more bedtime stories."  
  
Buffy sat in shock, knowing that something that horrible had happened to one of her oldest friends. She couldn't believe that after all this catastrophe people could still be capable of such malice.   
  
"Doc Wilson got to him quick enough," Celia continued. "Saved his life."   
  
Buffy kept her in the hug and Celia stopped talking for a few minutes. They sat and listened to Xander messing around with the dinner things.   
  
"Celia?" Buffy asks.   
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Does Xander take care of you?"  
  
"Uh huh," she replies still sniffling. "Ever since mommy and daddy got killed."  
  
"When was that?"  
  
"Um, I don't know. Maybe a year, I try not to think about it. It makes me sad..."  
  
"Vampires?"  
  
"Demons," Celia replied. "Jeez, you'd think with the hell mouth blowing half the town to bits all the mystical convergence junk would just disappear."  
  
Buffy blinked at how old Celia suddenly sounded. She was still only a little girl and had probably seen enough horrible things to haunt her for the rest of her life.   
  
"Do they have to fight vamps a lot?" She asked.   
  
"Um, not in a month or so. Not as much as they used too," Celia said. "Xander thinks they're all up to something. Building forces or something like that."   
  
"He's probably right," Buffy says.   
  
"He missed you, you know," Celia whispered.   
  
Buffy's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"  
  
"Oh, he never said anything like that even when he could talk. But I think... It was the way he talked about you. It seemed... I dunno, like he loved you or something. Like Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty in my storybook."  
  
Buffy once again stares blankly at the insightful little redhead sitting in front of her, exuding wisdom and perception beyond her years.   
  
"How'd you get so smart?" She asks.   
  
Celia blushes and giggles and looks in Xander's direction. "I had a good teacher I guess," she says.   
  
Xander bangs on a pot with a big wooden spoon telling them both that dinner is ready.   
  
"Ooh, food!" Celia screams, jumping from her cushion and grabbing Buffy's hand.   
  
"What's for dinner?" Buffy asks.   
  
"Well, since he didn't bring anything home tonight it's probably beef or chicken broth. We found a crate full of those little bully cubes awhile ago."  
  
"Bullion," Buffy corrected.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The little cubes," Buffy continued. "They're called bullion cubes."  
  
"Bully cubes," Celia repeated. "That's what I said."  
  
"Nevermind," Buffy grins. "So it's only broth?"  
  
"It's a little bleh, yeah," Celia says. "But on the plus side it tastes like an old dirty sock and if you're lucky it'll fill you up."  
  
Buffy laughs lightly.   
  
"Xander is definitely raising you."  



	3. Mourning

Buffy stirs as her internal clock tells her that it's time to get up. Lifting her head slowly, she looks up toward the windows on the far wall leaking in the first light of day. She yawns softly, propping herself up on her elbows. She sees Xander sitting stock-still on his mat watching her. He gives her a small wave but nothing else.   
  
"Were you watching me sleep?" She asks.   
  
He turns his head away.  
  
"I don't mind," she says softly.   
  
He looks back over to her.   
  
"Really."   
  
His nods as his shoulders rise with a sigh. She looks over to Celia, sleeping soundly on the mat closest to him. He follows her gaze and gently runs his hand across the little girl's hair. Buffy smiles when she sees the corner of his mouth turn up ever so slightly. He reaches for the chalkboard next to his boots and scribbles down a sentence before tossing it over to her.   
  
'You tired her out,' it says. 'She's always up before I am.'  
  
Buffy smiles warmly at him.   
  
"You really care for her don't you?"  
  
He nods.   
  
"I always knew you'd make a good father."  
  
He shakes his head and looks away again. Buffy can swear he's trying to hide a smile of his own. She looks around the room now that there was better light, and is shocked by how big it really is. An airplane or a cargo ship could easily fit within its walls. Raising her arms over her head she stretches her sore muscles and yawns again. The knowledge of Xander's silence was still something she couldn't fully comprehend. She'd known him for years and it was always a difficulty to get him to shut up. Or at least tone down the wisecracks in an inappropriate moment. Now that she knew he couldn't do anything like it again, she was surprised by how much she missed the thought of it.   
  
"She told me what happened," she says.   
  
Xander looks at her sadly, nodding his head. He knows Celia would have told her sooner or later. He runs a hand through his hair and looks at Buffy. She feels the chill from his eyes again but makes herself hold contact.   
  
"Xander I..."  
  
He puts up his hand, telling her to stop and she knows then that there is nothing she can possibly say. It happened, there was nothing she could have done or could do to change it. They sat in silence once more.   
  
"Um, Xander?" Buffy asks hesitantly.   
  
He looks to her, eyebrows perked in curiosity.   
  
"Can I..."  
  
He smirks at her stuttering and she feels like even more of an idiot for asking.   
  
"Can I see the scar?" She asks.   
  
The smirk immediately falls from his lips and his face seems to turn to stone. It is solid and shows no emotion whatsoever. His eyes bore into hers as she rushes to apologize but he throws up his hand and she falls silent. He grabs his boots, jumping up from the floor so fast that Buffy flinches against his movement. He's out the door before she has the chance to call after him again. She sighs as she tilts her head toward the ceiling.   
  
"Way to go Summers," she mutters.   
  
"I should have warned you not to ask him that," Celia says, sitting up sleepily and looking to Buffy.   
  
"That much of a sore spot huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Celia says softly. "He's never shown it to me, and I only asked once. He didn't run out of the room on me, but I think it's just cause I'm a little kid and stuff."   
  
She looks to the doorway briefly before turning back to Buffy.   
  
"I don't think he even looks at it," she says.   
  
They both stare at the door for a few minutes, Celia standing up and stretching the early morning kinks from her body.   
  
"He didn't take his goggles or mask, so he didn't go far. He's probably still on the base."   
  
"Should I go after?" Buffy begins.   
  
"No, let me. He probably wouldn't notice you were there."  
  
"Oh, okay," Buffy agrees. "This is going to be okay isn't it?"  
  
Celia smiles at Buffy sweetly, moving over to her and giving her a quick hug.   
  
"I wouldn't worry too much," she says. "I bet he was moody like this when you guys were younger."  
  
Buffy smiles in return at the little girl who seems so much older to her than what she sees. "Kind of," she says.   
  
"I knew it," Celia giggles. "I'll go get him. You stay here. You can read my storybook of you want."  
  
"I just might do that."  
  
***  
  
Celia wanders around the base for awhile looking around for her guardian. Everyone is polite to her as she walks by, smiling and waving and saying his or her good mornings. She smiles in return at everyone and at times like this, where everyone seems so happy go lucky, it's hard to believe they live on the edge of an apocalypse. Celia doesn't like to think about it too much. If she does that train of thought usually follows to her parents and she still doesn't want to think about them.   
  
She passes building G and smiles to herself despite her claims about not caring what Mikey Myers said or thought about her. She watches a few birds circle in sky. She can't remember the last time she's seen birds, and can't remember what kind they were. After another circle around the base, she finally spots him in the Far West corner. The fences are high enough there, so that there isn't a big need for it to be guarded as much as other parts of the base. He's leaning against a tree, his head tilted skyward. She approaches him cautiously, her tentative steps still loud enough to grab his attention. His head turns to her and he tries to smile but his mouth won't work. He shrugs at her.   
  
"She didn't mean to make you mad," she says. "She didn't know. I should have told her not to ask..."  
  
He holds his hand up to stop her and she folds her arms across her chest.   
  
"Oh no mister," she says firmly. "I'm not going to let you grouch you're way out of this one. I know you're happy to see her Xander. I may be a little kid but I'm not dumb. I know what she meant to you when you told me all those stories. I know you're happy to see her now."  
  
She moves closer to him and he doesn't move to push her away. She steps even closer and wraps her arms around his leg. He pats her head and she looks up to see him writing on a piece of paper. He hands it to her.   
  
"When did you get so smart?" She reads aloud.   
  
She giggles and roles her eyes at him.   
  
"What can I say?" She says. "I'm gifted."  
  
He lifts her from his leg and kisses the top of her head and she squirms and laughs and pretends to be grossed out.   
  
"Slobber all over my hair why don't you?"  
  
He grins at her and puts her down.   
  
"So you're not Mr. Grumpy Pants anymore?"  
  
He shakes his head.   
  
"So we can go back and have breakfast and not pretend this didn't happen?"  
  
He nods.  
  
"Good."  
  
She takes his hand and they head back toward the buildings. Once they get closer they notice that a large crowd is forming around something. A few people scream and they rush to see what it could be. Celia breaks through the people quicker than Xander and she gets right the edge before him. She screams at what she sees. A vampire in a long coat with a blanket haphazardly strewn across its shoulders is laughing madly at everyone who's gathered around. Smoke is rising off its body as the sun burns down on undead flesh. The vampire dances around the shocked faces of the crowd and Celia feels Xander's hand on her shoulder. She looks up to see the grim expression on his face. For the first time in months she feels scared.   
  
"He's coming for you!" The vampire shouts at them. "He'll kill you all! Oh what a ball it will be!"  
Celia feels Xander's hand tighten on her shoulder and he waves at some of crowd to advance on the smoldering vampire. A few move in but the smoke turns to flames and vampire laughs even louder.   
  
"There will be no escape!" It shouts gleefully. "There is nowhere you can hide!"  
  
The flames burn brighter and Celia covers her eyes against them. The vampire laughs louder as the fire engulfs it, its body quickly turning to ash. Celia looks back up to Xander and knows he is furious and wondering how the vamp got in. He looks at the people in the front of the crowd and most turn their heads away in shame. He shakes his head in disgust and walks up to the small pile of ashes that built up in the coat the vampire was wearing. Xander decides it was obviously fireproof to help keep the sun off even more than the blanket. He picks up the coat and feels his blood run cold at the letters on the back.   
  
"S.D.F.D," it says. "Sunnydale Fire Department."   
  
He drops the coat back onto the ground and tightens his fists so hard his fingernails cut into his palms. Celia runs up to him just as Buffy breaks her way through the crowd.   
  
"What happened?" Buffy asked. "What's going on?"  
  
Celia slowly moves to the coat, picking it up from the ground. She gasps as tears start pour down her cheeks when she sees what made Xander drop it.   
  
"What is it?" Buffy asks moving over to her.   
  
"A message," Celia says.   
  
"A message from who?"  
  
"McRae," Celia barely whispers. "He's coming."  



	4. Battle

Celia watches as Xander pounds on the heavy bag. She's watched him do this countless times before, but never with the same sense of dread she had now. He wasn't just preparing for a simple fight against the vampires as he'd done so many times before. There was something in his eyes she could see, though she didn't want to, that went far beyond simple determination. She could see in every punch, every bob, and every weave that he was preparing for a fight to the death. The prospect of that scenario didn't sit well with her. She wanted to yell at him, scream right into his ear that it would only be suicide to go after him. Something wasn't right. There was only one conclusion all of them could come up with as to why McRae would send a vampire as a message. She shivered helplessly. Another mark on the list of things she never wanted to think about.   
  
"How long has he been at this now?" Buffy asked, startling her.   
  
"Oh, um, I don't know. Awhile I guess..."  
  
"Hey," Buffy said gently. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Five by five," Celia said quietly.   
  
Buffy blinked a minute, not sure if she'd heard her right.   
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"What? Oh, uh, he used to say that sometimes. It means I'm okay."  
  
"I know what it means," Buffy smiles. "Just wondering where you heard it."   
  
Celia flinched as Xander roundhouse kicks the bag, his leg making a loud snap against the leather. Buffy tries to squeeze her shoulder and offer a small bit of comfort but Celia shrugs her off. Buffy sighs and sits next to her making sure not to touch her. It was clear she didn't need it now.   
  
"You're really wigged about this aren't you?" She asked.   
  
Celia doesn't reply merely stares at Xander pounding away. Buffy looks around the room in discomfort. She began to doubt if she should have come back at all. She never would have left it she hadn't thought that everyone was dead. She doesn't want to remember exactly what happened those years ago, and her brain has successfully blocked out most of the details. All she really knows is that she had watched helplessly from a nearby hill where she was hunting a pack of demons intent on making the citizens of Sunnydale their favorite new snack food. Next thing she knew...   
  
Boom.   
  
Town gone, smoke and bodies everywhere. She'd searched for days for anyone she knew or could at least recognize. When she found no one, she was lost. She took off for parts unknown and barely looked back. The last few years had been a haze. She knows she came back once, saw that Xander was indeed alive, and left again without ever letting him know she was there. She is still not sure why she came back again. She watches Xander continuously pummel the bag, and looks to Celia. She is glad she did.   
  
Eventually Xander stops his workout and walks right past the girls without even looking at them. Buffy gets up to follow him but Celia puts her hand on her shoulder.   
  
"Don't," she says softly. "You can't talk to him when he's like this."  
  
"Has he been like this before?"  
  
"Once," Celia says, her eyes moving to follow Xander's retreating form out of the room. "After McRae did... What he did."  
  
"He went all crazy fighter guy?"  
  
Celia nods. "For weeks he wouldn't look at anyone, and he'd stay out till all hours. Hunting for McRae, barely sleeping, training all the time," Celia waves her hand in exasperation. "He was like a robot you know? Crush, kill, destroy."   
  
Once again Buffy blinks at her knowledge of even the smallest of pop-culture references.   
  
"What ever happened to McRae?" Buffy asks.   
  
Celia sighs and brushes her hair back from her face. She really doesn't want to think anymore about McRae than she already is.  
  
  
"You have to tell me," Buffy says firmly. "What happened to him after he did that to Xander?"   
  
"They kicked him out of course," Celia says. "But not before..."  
  
"Before what?"  
  
"They took one of his fingers. As penance. Eye for an eye someone said."  
  
"They did that?" Buffy asks, shocked.  
  
"After what he did to Xander, it was a small price to pay," Celia bit out.  
  
Buffy nods, finding no argument for that.  
  
"Well, I should go after him. Offer my services. After all, I am the slayer."  
  
"I don't know if that'll make a difference to him Buffy," Celia said. "Crush, kill, destroy, remember?"  
  
"Well, I was never one to listen to advice," Buffy said standing. "Sorry sweetie, but I'm going after him."  
  
Celia sighs and hangs her head down.   
  
"Yeah, I kind of thought you would. Just... Just be careful okay?"  
  
"I will," Buffy assures her. "And by the way..."  
  
Celia's head perks up.  
  
"I never liked that show."  
  
Buffy turns toward the door, going after Xander, leaving a confused Celia to herself.   
  
"Show?"   
  
***  
  
Buffy is barely out the door when she sees Xander rushing back to the building at full speed. She looks up at the sky to see that dusk had settled in and her instincts kick in telling her the worst. She steps out of his way at the last second and it seems like he hadn't even seen her. She runs back through the door to see Xander bolting across the room. Celia runs after him and Buffy gives chase as well.   
  
"What is it?" Celia shouts. "What's wrong?"  
  
Xander doesn't even register her presence. He's too busy prying a chest off of an unsteady looking shelf. Buffy hears him grunt with the weight of it and steps in to lend a hand. The trunk hits the ground with a slam, the sound echoing throughout the room. Xander quickly pulls a key out of his pocket and shoves it into the big black lock on the front of the trunk. Buffy's eyes widen at the cache of stakes, crosses, and bottles of holy water inside. It easily bested her old stash.   
  
"Vampires?" Buffy asks. "Are there vampires outside?"  
  
Xander nods his head swiftly, stuffing his pockets with supplies.  
  
"Why didn't you say anything!" She shouts.   
  
Xander looks up and scowls at her. Buffy looks away sheepishly.   
  
"Oh... right."  
  
She kneels down and grabs a few stakes and crosses of her own.   
  
"Is it McRae?" Celia asks, her voice shaking. "Is he out there now?"  
  
Xander looks over to her sadly, and with one nod of his head fresh tears begin to pour down her cheeks. He grabs her swiftly, pulling her into a tight hug and kisses the top of her head. Her arms are wound tightly around his neck and when he moves to stand she doesn't let go.   
  
"Don't go Xander," she pleads quietly. "Please don't go."   
  
He pulls her hands from his neck and smiles weakly. He takes a piece of paper from his pocket and scribbles a little note.   
  
'I'll be back,' it says. 'I promise.'  
  
"You better be," Celia demands. "Or I'll be the one to kick your butt."  
  
He nods as he stands and looks over to Buffy, brows raised.   
  
"Of course I'm coming," she says.   
  
He turns and runs out the door, leaving Buffy behind.   
  
"I'll make sure he comes back," she says.  
  
"Promise?" Celia whispers.   
  
"Promise."  
  
Celia watches helplessly as Buffy turns and follows Xander out the door. She wipes a few tears from her cheeks, but fresh ones just replace them. She sighs and runs to her favorite corner, falls to her side and pulls her knees into her chest. She can hear her own cries echo through the room. She wishes someone could read her a story.   
  
***  
  
Celia's not sure how much time has passed when she wakes up still curled in the corner. She looks around blankly at the walls for a few minutes wondering if she wants to get up at all. Her side is sore from lying on the floor and she knows that if she moves it'll only get worse. She lies for a few minutes more and finally gets up. She walks slowly to the sleeping mats and jumps when she hears the sounds of a battle raging outside. She's not scared of any Vampires getting in. She knows that they can't enter without being invited. She resists her urge to peek out the door to see what's going on.   
  
A loud crash makes her jump again and she sighs. She thinks that she should be used to this now. She can imagine Xander outside, being all commando warrior on any vamps within striking distance. She's not to sure how Buffy would look. She's never seen her fight, and only knows what Xander used to tell her. She knows in her mind that she doesn't have to worry, but the feeling in her stomach is telling her otherwise.   
  
Bang.   
  
Crash.  
  
Screams.  
  
She puts her hands against her ears to block it all out. For the first time in a long time she wants her mommy.   
  
She jumps to her feet instantly when someone comes crashing through the door. She's already halfway across the room when Buffy's familiar voice calls after her.   
  
"Celia!" She shouts.   
  
Celia skids to a stop and turns to run back to Buffy. She gasps when she gets closer. A stream of blood runs down the slayer's forehead, and her cheek looks like it's beginning to bruise. Celia quickly runs to get the first-aid kit from Xander's dresser and comes back to her. She takes out a wad of gauze and pours a bit of alcohol from the small bottle onto it. Buffy looks at her strangely when she gently wipes away the blood from her head.   
  
"You think he didn't teach me first aid?" She says trying to smile, but finds that she can't.   
  
"So many," Buffy says. "Xander was right; they were building their forces..."  
  
"Where is Xander?" Celia asked, fishing for a band-aid from the box.   
  
Buffy moves her head away, and Celia's hand freezes.   
  
"Where's Xander?" She says a little more urgently.   
  
"He..."  
  
"Where is he?!" She shouts.   
  
"Are okay?" Buffy asks. "No one got in here right?"   
  
"Don't change the subject!"  
  
Celia was crying again, fearing the worst from whatever Buffy wasn't telling her. Buffy reached out a hand to her and Celia slapped it away.   
  
"Don't touch me!" She screamed. "Not until you tell me what happened!"  
  
"There were so many," Buffy said again. "They just kept coming and coming. It didn't stop. It was like fighting a wall. Xander and I kept fighting. It was strange because none of them seemed to want to get near him. Like they weren't supposed to touch him. And then out of nowhere this big burly vamp jumps out of the middle of the crowd and grabs him. I tried to get him, Celia. Believe me I did. But they... It was just too..."  
  
"Tell me," Celia demanded through her tears.   
  
"McRae's a vampire," Buffy said softly. "He has Xander." 


	5. Endgame

"But you promised..." Celia says weakly. "You promised..."  
  
"We'll get him back," Buffy says, trying to sound encouraging.   
  
"How?" Celia shouts, her fury coming back at full force once more. "McRae has him! He could take him anywhere Buffy! All that wasteland out there. You don't know your way around this town anymore! You left! They could have just..."  
  
"Celia," Buffy pleads. "Please sweetie; just try to calm down."  
  
"You can't make me! He's all I have can't you see that? Mommy and Daddy are gone! They're never coming back and Xander is... Oh god..."  
  
"We have to think," Buffy insists. "Where would McRae take him?"  
  
"I don't know," Celia retorts. "It's not like he stopped over for tea and puppets you know."  
  
"Crumpets," Buffy corrects.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Tea and crumpets."  
  
"Like it matters, I don't see any stuffed shirt English people around. Giles isn't here."  
  
"How do you..?"   
  
"Xander," Celia says rolling her eyes. "Bedtime stories? Were you listening to me or what?"  
  
Buffy shakes her head at such anger that pours from Celia. This wasn't helping. They needed to think, and arguing never helped any sort of battle plan. She tried to think. Had she seen anything that might have been a vamp nest when she came back? Memory didn't recall anything in particular. From what she gathered off of Celia and a few other people she'd talked to on the base, McRae's hatred for Xander ran thick. She doesn't think that he would kill him right away. But where could they...  
  
The answer comes to her with no explanation. She doesn't know where it came from. It just seemed to pop into her head, and for some strange reason, she knows she's right. She looks up to Celia who's pacing back and forth angrily.   
  
"Where does Xander keep his back up weapons?" She asks.   
  
"Over in the cabinet," Celia says pointing at the unassuming green steel tomb lined along the far wall. "That's his big stash."  
  
Buffy gets up from the floor, marching purposely toward the weapons hold. He feet clomp along the concrete floor, each step bound with determination. She rips the lock off the door with ease and thrusts the doors open. She is taken aback for a moment by the size of the collection. Swords, crossbows, hand crafted stakes. Each weapon molded in exquisite detail, precise and beautiful. She takes a modern looking crossbow made of lightweight graphite, complete with scope, and straps it to her back. Along with a dagger and a vast supply of stakes, she feels ready. She marches back over to Celia and kneels to look her in the eye.   
  
"Where exactly are you going?" Celia asks, her arms folded.   
  
"You have to stay here," she says firmly. "It's too dangerous for you to come along."  
  
"Come along where? You don't even know where there are."  
  
"I do."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Call it a hunch," Buffy says standing and moving toward the door. "Stay here."  
  
Celia huffs as she watches her go. Xander could be killed and Buffy wanted her to say here? What had that gotten her last time? Xander taken and Buffy coming in looking like a sparring partner for... Well she couldn't think of anyone tough she knew besides Buffy or Xander, but that didn't matter. She wasn't going to sit here and do nothing. She couldn't.  
  
***  
  
Xander's vision is blurry when he comes to. He can't make out where he is; though the breeze across his chest tells him he is outdoors. He shakes his head trying to get his sight to clear. There is an orange glow a few feet away, which he assumes is a fire. He tries to move his hands but finds them tied down. He struggles against the bonds. He can feel his scar exposed. It is a feeling that burns throughout his entire body.   
  
He always kept it covered.   
  
Always.   
  
The muscles in his arms bulge slightly with the effort and his can feel his face turning red. He struggles even harder, but to no use. He wants out.  
  
"Now, now," a voice taunts from behind. "You don't want to tire yourself out do you?"   
  
His whole body stiffens. He knows the voice. The attitude and superiority laced in it. He really struggles against the bonds and the voice only laughs.   
  
"Struggle, struggle little bee," McRae taunts coming into view. "Yearning, yearning to be free."   
  
Xander's jaw clenches at McRae's vampiric visage. He hated the man enough on his own, and now he was a creature he'd hated even more. A thousand profanities cross his mind, but none can be expressed. Instead he rolls his eyes when he sees just how exactly he was tied down. He was being crucified. How original.  
  
"It's good to see you Xander," McRae says, his face morphing back into normal. "It's been so long."  
  
Xander spits in the man's eyes and he only laughs in return.   
  
"Such hostility my dear boy. Wherever do you get it from?"  
  
Xander's eyes bore into McRae's, a hateful sneer draped across his features. His breathing is savage, and his arms still struggling with the ropes. His teeth are flashed, his jaw set tight.   
  
"Aw, what's the matter Xander?" McRae says grinning. "Cat slit your throat?"  
  
Xander's head flails back and forth and the anger radiates from his body. The wood begins to shake with his efforts and McRae can only laugh. He is far too amused with the boy's suffering to take the struggle seriously. He stops resisting to catch his breath and ignores the bemused look on the older mans face. He looks around and sees nothing but dirt. On the ground, far off in the distance. His eyes grow wide when he realizes where they are.  
  
"Home sweet home," McRae sighs, noticing Xander's look at the backdrop. "I do love this crater. Such a symbol of death and destruction. It's rather poetic..."   
  
Xander hangs his head in disgust. Countless lives had been lost with whatever had caused the hellmouth to blow. He'd once been a man sworn to save such lives and here he was, laughing about the loss of them. He has so many things he wants to diminish him for, so many jabs and insults... It is the first time in a long time that he wishes he could speak.   
  
***  
  
Buffy grips the crossbow tightly as she walks along the trail. The gravel crunches underneath her boots, and bag of stakes clacks against her back. Other than these little sounds, the earth is deathly quiet. The night surrounds her, but her slayer sense detects no vampires. She finds this odd because little over an hour ago she fought a horde of them. They must have run back to their nest, or bunker, of wherever the hell they chose to hide themselves. The moon hangs in the sky, it's mellow light causing the ash of the ground to glow. She brushes a stray lock of hair from her face when she hears it. A soft, subtle step a few feet behind her. She stops and strains to listen. A few seconds later she hears it again. The distinct pace of a child sneaking around.   
  
She whirls around, anger and annoyance running through her body.   
  
"Celia!" She shouts. "I know you're out there!"  
  
Celia approaches sheepishly, her step slow and her head hung. She feels a slight sting of shame but quickly covers it with bravado.   
  
"Nice night," she says boldly.  
  
Buffy shakes her head the anger fading but still evident.   
  
"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you to be out here?" She asks. "There could be vampires anywhere."  
  
Celia looks left to right at the bush surrounding them, the thought not making her feel any better about following.  
  
"I..."  
  
"I know you want to help me find Xander," she says softly. "I know you don't want him to die, but did you ever give any thought to how he might feel if you died?"  
  
Celia shakes her head. The thought had honestly never crossed her mind. Buffy sighs and pulls a stake from the bag and hands it to her.   
  
"I don't have time to take you back," Buffy says. "So just hold onto this and stay close okay?"  
  
Celia nods and sticks to Buffy's side.   
  
"He's not dead," Celia says quietly.   
  
"No," Buffy says. "And he's not going to be either."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Buffy shrugs.  
  
"Call it another hunch."  
  
***  
  
McRae paces back and forth in front of Xander, the sinister grin never leaving his lips. He was taking far too much pleasure in seeing his once thought adversary at such a disadvantage. Xander rolls his eyes for what feels like the thousandth time. McRae seemed to have no other plan than to watch him squirm, which he had stopped doing awhile ago. His patience had run dry but there was nothing he could do about that. Instead he just continued to watch the vampire pace. He had no other option.   
  
"So many ways," McRae mutters to himself. "So many ways..."  
  
He turns to face Xander grinning still.   
  
"Did you ever wish so hard for something?" He asks. "Just wished, and wished, and wished it would come true. And when it did, you simply didn't know what to do?"   
  
Xander sighs, not liking where this was going.   
  
"So many ways to torture you dear boy," McRae says tapping Xander on chest. "So many ways and I can't choose a one."   
  
McRae pulls out a knife. Thee knife. The one that he'd used to cut him before. Xander struggles again, the hatred boiling in his veins.   
  
"An old friend," McRae says lifting the knife toward Xander. "I think she wants to say hello."  
  
Xander, through instinct more than anything, bites his lip against the cut. He closes his eyes once more, not wanting to see the joy on McRae's face.  
  
***  
  
"Why are we coming here?" Celia says softly as the lip of the crater comes into view. "I don't like it here."  
  
"I'm pretty sure this is where they are," Buffy says.   
  
"How?"  
  
"Sometimes I can just feel things. Like an extra sense or something. Comes with the whole slayer package."  
  
"Neat," Celia replies.   
  
She looks around, gripping the end of her stake tightly. She still wanted to save Xander, but she couldn't help being afraid. She'd never seen the crater before. She'd never really wanted too. Xander had forbid her to leave the base, and only her child like stubbornness had kept her thinking that he was holding out on something. Now that she got a good look at the desolate surroundings, she could see that it was a good idea. The vast nothingness made her want to cry. She kept a brave face on. More for herself than for Buffy.   
  
They approach the mouth of the crater slowly; Buffy takes Celia's hand as they reach the edge. Celia gasps against its hugeness. Never in her life has she seen anything so big. She squeezes slightly on Buffy's hand and Buffy squeezes softly in response. Celia looks up to her, watching her eyes as they scanned across the perimeter. Celia tries to look as well, but it is too dark for her to see anything.   
  
"There," Buffy says.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Over there," Buffy says pointing and a faint orange glow at the bottom of the crater.   
  
Celia squints her eyes in an attempt to focus them more clearly. She sees it. A small ball of light looking like it was floating it's so far away.   
  
"I see it," Celia says. "Do you really think it's them?"  
  
"It's time we found out."  
  
"How are we going to get down there?" Celia asks.   
  
"I thought I saw some kind of trail the other day," Buffy says turning and tugging on Celia's hand. "Come on."   
  
***  
  
Xander's eyes open to the site of McRae licking his blood from the knife. He wants to shut his eyes again but McRae notices him and smacks him across the face.   
  
"It's no fun if you're not watching;" McRae says licking more blood from the blade. "So rich, so full of life. Ever since I was turned I dreamed of tasting your blood. I can see that it was well worth the wait."   
  
Xander's lip turns up in a sneer, but it only gets him another satisfied grin from McRae. He bites down on his tongue as McRae's fists pound his body and face. He tries to block out the laughter but can't. McRae laughs and smiles and sings as he continues his merciless assault on Xander's paling form. The knife makes a few more cuts, and he knows they'll most likely scar. None will match the one. McRae goes on for a bit more and after awhile Xander can't even feel it.   
  
"God I love this!" McRae roars.   
  
Xander's head hangs against his chest, his eyes beginning to droop.   
  
"Hey now," McRae says lifting his chin. "You're not going soft on me are you?"   
  
Xander lets his head fall again when McRae lets it go.   
  
"It should have been me," McRae says bitterly. "I should have been the one to lead them. Not some baby-faced, snot-nosed brat that knew a little something about the things that go bump in the night. I was the one with the experience! Me! Not you, you Nintendo playing gen-x little fucker!"  
  
Xander feels a smile grow on his bloody lips. The old man had been nothing but jealous of him. All the rage, all the hate, the mutilation of his body and the turning into a vampire. All of this... Due to petty human jealousy. He lifts his head defiantly to his captor, the smile never wavering.   
  
"What are smiling at?" McRae sneers.   
  
Xander keeps the smile firm.   
  
"What are you smiling at?" McRae repeats, the anger building.  
  
He still smiles.   
  
"What?!" McRae screams. "What the fuck is so goddamn funny?"  
  
Xander shakes his head, the silent bobbing of his throat showing laughter.   
  
"Stop smiling damn you!" The vampire roars, "I have beaten you! Silenced you! What? What is it?"  
  
Xander's body begins to shake, his stomach convulsing with his mute giggles.   
  
McRae throws his fist into Xander's gut, but it's no use. He still laughs.  
  
"Well," McRae says lifting the knife once more. "We'll just have to give you a permanent frown now won't we?"   
  
Xander hears the crunch of boots against rock before McRae does; he's too busy smiling at his knife. He feels his lips curl into another grin and waits for McRae's fury at it. When McRae does look up, his own malicious grin disappears and Xander feels a moment of satisfaction. McRae growls, his face shifting into his more feral visage once more. Xander stills smiles waiting for his friend's moment of attack.   
  
The dart sails into McRae's back easily and he snarls around to see who dared attack him. Buffy comes running into view and blindsides him with a flying kick to the head. Celia quickly darts around the two fighting, heading straight for Xander. She reaches him quickly and attempts to untie the knots that bind him down, but they are wound too tight. She pulls and pulls on them to no avail. She runs to face Xander, nearly bursting into tears at all the blood.   
  
"Xander," she says apologetically. "You're tied down too tight. I can't get the knots undone."  
  
She clutches to his leg squeezing onto it for dear life.   
  
"You're not dead," she says. "You're not dead."  
  
McRae dodges one of Buffy's left hooks and attempts to grab her leg when she goes for a roundhouse kick. She's to quick for him and her foot cleanly strikes against his temple, ripping at the skin and causing a small stream of blood to trickle down.   
  
"I'll make you pay for that," he sneers, throwing his own one/two combination. "I'll have you know I was station boxing champ five years in a row."  
  
"Well, good for you," Buffy says ducking under his swiping fists and countering with a smooth uppercut.   
  
McRae staggers back and Buffy takes the fraction of second to toss a knife to Celia.   
  
"Cut him down!"   
  
Celia quickly runs to the spot on the ground where the knife landed.   
  
"Still taking care of that little brat Harris?" McRae asks advancing to Buffy once more. "When I'm finished with She-Ra here I'll have a little fun with her too."   
  
"You're not going to touch her," Buffy says, getting in a few more good punches.   
  
"You're pretty wiry," McRae says wiping a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth. "I like that."  
  
He bull charges her and knocks her to the ground.   
  
"Although sometimes brute strength is better," he laughs.   
  
He tries to pounce but Buffy kicks him away, sending him flying over the remains of a bush.  
  
"Something like that?"  
  
Celia finishes cutting through the last knot, and Xander drops to the ground. She rushes to help him but her shrugs her off. He looks up to see the hurt look in her eyes and slowly motions for her to help. She ducks underneath his arm and tries to help him stand.  
  
"You're so heavy," she complains. "You're going on a diet when we get home."   
  
He gets to his feet and wobbles slightly, but doesn't fall over again.   
  
"Buffy's showing him not to mess with us," Celia says firmly.   
  
She feels Xander's arm tighten around her and she automatically knows what he's thinking.   
  
"Are you nuts?" She admonishes. "Look at you! You've been thrown through a meat grinder! You can't fight him now."  
  
He looks to her sadly, nodding his head. Vengeance is what he wanted and even if he was merely a spectator, vengeance is what he would get.   
  
Buffy swings the crossbow from her back and takes aim, but McRae gets lucky and smacks it from her hands. She curses under her breath. The tumbling before had caused her to lose the bag full of stakes as well. Now she was just going to have to keep pummeling him until she had a chance to recover it. She takes a split second to notice just how dark it is. Fat chance she'd find the bag.   
  
Celia stares at the crossbow on the ground, and looks to Xander whose eyes are still on the fight. Without waiting for him to react, she drops his arm and runs after the crossbow. She looks back to Xander briefly seeing him struggle to chase after her. She picks up the weapon, surprised by how light it is. She sees that it's already cocked and ready to fire. She steps a few more feet closer to Buffy and McRae's battle royal and looks through the scope. She waits patiently for her shot.   
  
Buffy sidesteps another one/two from the vamp and sidekicks him square in the chest. He staggers back once more and Buffy makes a quick scan of the ground, looking for the crossbow or the bag of stakes.   
  
Celia holds her breath as she squeezes the trigger. She knows her shot rang true.   
  
McRae looks down at his chest in shock. The dart protruding straight out of his heart. His yellow eyes glow with anger for the few seconds he has before he turns to dust.   
  
"Oh, fuck me..." He mutters.  
  
Buffy looks behind her to Celia's wide-eyed face. She drops the crossbow to the ground and looks up to Buffy.   
  
"Wow," she says. "Awesome."  
  
Buffy walks quickly over to her; many words perched on the tip of her tongue to shout how dangerous it was to do that. She stops in front of the little girl and the words fall dead when she sees her shaking hands. She kneels down and hugs her, Celia reaming stock-still in her arms. She hears Celia begin to sob and she gently rubs the back of her head, cooing her softly.   
  
"Ssh," she whispers. "It's okay. You did well."   
  
Buffy looks at her. "How did you do so well?"  
  
Celia giggles brokenly. "Xander taught me."  
  
Both the girls jump when Xander appears next to them.   
  
"Oh my god, Xander!" Buffy shouts looking him over. "Are you okay?"  
  
He smiles faintly and slowly moves to kneel next to them. Celia moves out of Buffy's embrace to run her hands over Xander's new wounds. She's surprised when he doesn't swipe her hands away. She feels her eyes well up as she moves to hug him.   
  
"You're okay," she says. "You're okay."   
  
Xander looks over to Buffy who's watching them quietly. He stands, reaching his arms under Celia and bringing her up with him. The sky lightens, and the first light of day reaches its arm across the lip of the crater. Celia rests her head on Xander's shoulder and he looks back to the giant wooden T he was tied to. He can't help but snort. Of course it wasn't an actual crucifix. McRae wouldn't have been able to go anywhere near it.   
  
He hears Buffy gasp and he realizes that his scar is still uncovered. His hand shoots to his neck and Buffy turns her head away. He runs his finger along the swollen puffed mark and sighs. He takes Buffy's hand and she turns to him; he lifts her fingers toward his neck and presses them against the scar. Her eyes tear up as she runs her fingers along.   
  
"I...," she begins shakily. "I'm so sorry Xander..."  
  
He shakes his head. It's not necessary.   
  
He removes her hand from his neck and entwines her fingers in his. He smiles softly at her. She smiles in return. His head tilts skyward and Buffy follows his gaze. Celia's head still rests on Xander's shoulder and she sighs happily with the thought that he's still alive. Xander looks to Buffy and smiles at her once more, squeezing her hand gently before their heads return to the new dawn of the heavens. They watch the birds fly across it.   
  
-The End.  



End file.
